lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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