happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
