That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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