so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
