Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
