It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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