You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
