i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
