the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
