Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
