just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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