My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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