Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
