If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
