dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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