I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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