dude i'm inner monologue high
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
me + whiskey = a bad person
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
