At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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