Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
