My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
