Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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