I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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