I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
