A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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