she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
