you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
