Please, let me fuck your mom
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
