just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
