So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
