I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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