OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
