I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
