And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
