I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
