'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
