I want you more than these girls want KFC
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
