All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
