I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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