Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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