bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Randomize
