The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
