real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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