Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
