he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
