I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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