Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
