Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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