Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
