oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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