I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
