I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
