so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
