I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
